Khalya Hopkins

One of the most talked about articles in the first issue (and a fav with the GGE crew) was about Khalya Hopkins. If you haven’t read her story, you should, but in brief, she got pregnant when she was 14 (under some difficult circumstances) and didn’t let being a teenage mom stop her from finishing high school, going to graduate school and becoming a teacher. It wasn’t glamorous or easy, but she did it. Meeting her, talking to her and hearing her story, it’s not hard to understand why. She’s driven.

The first thing I noticed when I met Khalya, though, were her nails…and I had to ask her about them during our interview.  ”In high school, the first year, you’re fresh meat,” she said. “Every guy is trying to bag you. The honors girls are the ‘it girls,’ if you’re cute, it was extra. We were in high demand.” After she had her daughter, though, things changed. “I was a real bum,” she said. “We went from 10 to zero on the radar, looking raggedy. It was a joke, our children were fly.”

"My parents told me, don't half ass anything," Khalya said. "That's my policy on everything."

Things started to pick up , she got a little money and she’d get her hair done. She started getting her nails done at 14 because she wanted to be creative. “In high school, your whole purpose in life is to out-do your friends, whether you say it or not. I wanted to be known for something other than my daughter.” So she let it be known that any guy she dated had to get her nails done. She started getting long tips in college and soon she became known for it, so she got as creative as she could. The reactions have been mixed- “That’s not professional,” and  ”How can you work?” are common comments. There are people who want to take pictures and others who are repulsed. But Khalya says, “They’re not professional and I don’t ever pretend that they are, however, they are icebreakers,” and they get the conversation started. What she has to say is certainly worth it.

"You always want to have your own identity...if it's on your own terms, it's cool." Photograph by Valerie Caesar.

Some of the GGE girls really related to Khalya’s story (the boyfriend drama) and were happy to see her succeed. They also wanted to know how it ended—

Did her father’s boyfriend even get out of jail? Yes.

Are they back together? No.

What happened? Her parents tried to get her to reconcile with him because they wanted a traditional family unit and wanted to use it was a way to “de-gay” her, but the relationship did not work. She’s also gay, btw.

Can we contact her on facebook? Yes. Search for her name- Khalya Hopkins.

Shout out to some of the awesome Girls for Gender Equity...Meghan, Tulani, Nefertiti, Bria, Serne, Shantiqua, Shekeira, me. Up front: Jody Ann, Charicka, Shurayer and Kimberly.

Friday was a good day. Scratch that. Friday was a GREAT day! In fact, it was one of the best days I’ve had in a really long time. Why? Three letters…GGE. Girls for Gender Equity. They’re pro-girl, anti-gender-based violence, all-activist and generally awesome.

Ok, so knowing what they do is one thing…but meeting some of the girls in person…now that’s something else.

When I headed to the GGE offices in Brooklyn to meet with a group of about 10 high-school aged girls to talk about the magazine, I wasn’t sure what to expect. They probably didn’t, either. So, we started off the afternoon easy with introductions and some Q&A. Most of them were about 17 and went to schools from Brooklyn to the Bronx. Personalities all, some on two, others on ten. Lol.

After the quiet came the questions, about me and about the magazine— they wanted to know where I went to school,  where I live, how I got started, where I found the articles, how sales went, if I had worked with anyone else, if I wanted to work with anyone else, etc.

And after the questions, and some very real answers, came a level of comfort. They started reading the magazine and giving me feedback. Khalya’s triumph over teen pregnancy story was a fav. The dating abuse article got them fired up.  Hydeia’s article about living with HIV touched some. A few recognized Lo Anderson from a poetry reading and Priscilla “P.Star” Diaz from The Electric Company. We talked about things in the stories we related to and those we couldn’t understand. We laughed. We shared and we laughed some more.

Planning big big things...

The raw energy in that room was unlike anything I’ve ever seen and so we built on that and started planning. What exactly I won’t say just yet, but trust me when I say it’ll be well worth the wait.

During the Q & A Shantiqua, asked me a question that stuck with me long after I answered it. She wanted to know, “WHY do you do this?”

At the time, I explained it as best I could—because creating a magazine has been a dream of mine since I was teen, because it was exciting work, because I thought it mattered, etc. But after spending a few hours with them, the best answer I had, was that I did it for moments like those and for girls like them.

I hope they got it (or got something out of it) because I know I did. And to quote Tulani and Shantiqua, I left that evening feeling very motivated and “blessed”….”yeeeeeeessssss!”

I know, right? Finally. So, where in the world have I been? Well, taking some time ( a lot of time) to be completely honest. I published the magazine back in May and while I was elated with how it turned out, I can’t say that it “popped” like I thought it would (or should). The people who saw it, liked it (loved it, even) but getting the word out didn’t happen as organically as I had hoped. So I stepped back a bit. Got frustrated with blogging and feeling like I was talking to myself, so I stopped. Bad idea, I know, but that’s what happened. And maybe it needed to happen.

So, fast forward to now and I’m excited all over again. Planning issue number two (more on that soon) and a much better business model. Stay tuned…and I promise, it won’t take nearly as long ; )

Here is the poem she recited that night and the inspiration behind it.

- Lo Anderson - A Photograph of the Poet as a Young Woman. Yes, yes, y'all.

So you like social consciousness eh?

There are women buying Che Guevara panties at Mandees

While virginity is stuck sticky black to the leather of a hot jeep

Stumblin dizzy through my country

They make fun of me,

cuz our women can Fuck a man straight off his bones

They say that I’ll learn one day

that my hips will bear the bitter bitch

cookin womanhood in your kitchen

We’re like ehh como se dice

ANIMAL PLANET

As if slut is a new name for mammal

Its like shhh as we learn the ways of the Dominican woman

Many of them, along with selling their bodies, act as thieves.

Upon meeting a new client, they will first ask him how long he is in town.

back in his hotel room,

seize any opportunity to steal from him.

her most natural habitat

your husbands mind & possibly his bedsheets

While approaching a man on the street,

she would get close to him and move her hands around to distract

At the same time, she will deftly pick his pocket

& it doesnt matter how young or pure she is

it doesnt matter how loose or whore she is

she is whore

she is

sprawled out across your hotel room floor

before u even push in the keys

so go ahead..

Ask me about my country

Why my spine smells like Las Terranas

And all the Rape rain

Will crush me

Trust me

Two possible jobs if you own a pussy in DR

You prostitute or work at the salon

Where the prostitutes do their hair

Normally I wouldn’t care

But when you catch a French man

Jugando buddy buddy

With a ten year old

It just bothers

And I was ten

And she was ten

And both of our ages combined were

Not old enough

2 have fingers

Laced with the lace of our panties

oh does the word panties make you uncomfortable?

or the swollen throats of children?

or the torso shifting and jaw clicking you hear when u sleep

they didnt give us these hips & this ass for nothing

this strut and this sass for nothing

so while your little girl is counting her sheep

tuck her tight in her skin

dont u dare tell her about the revolution

or Trujillo

or all the reasons we have to be who we be

just grow up

& be mariposa maravillosa

be whoever

she

maybe

(c) Lauren E. Anderson

I wrote this poem about prostitution in the Dominican Republic. I’m from Las Terrenas in Samana. It’s a really really small [place], really country—dirt roads, nobody wearing shoes, nobody wearing shirts because it’s too hot for that. A couple of years ago, I went back to my hometown and I was walking down my street and I saw a really really young Dominican girl walking around with a European tourist as his date and we were the same age. That’s disgusting and it’s something that resonated with me always, it just stuck with me, because it didn’t make sense. That’s why in the poem I mentioned there aren’t too many options for woman out there—there aren’t too many options out there for anybody, let alone a woman. Like in the poem, I mention this woman, or this ideological woman I’m talking about, she has a lot of kids to feed so like sacrificing her body and her time and self worth is not a question. It’s not something to be thought about, it’s something you do. That’s how you survive.

Prostitution is a semi general topic. But the good thing, in any good spoken word poem is it’s going to take something universal and make it really specific. This is something that I’m connected to.  I’m a big believer in backing up what you say. I saw that, I experienced that first hand. That’s what is real to me. It’s not because I went to Google and I researched.

“If I feel some kind of way about something, I’m going to write it down, because I want to make you feel some kind of way about something.” 

Read more about Lo, her life, her inspirations, her aspirations, and her poetry,  in the first issue of HomegirlNYC, on sale now. If you’re interested in writing poetry, check out Urban Word NYC, the organization that helped Lo grow as a writer.

“When I was 15 years old, during the summer after my freshman year of High School, I went back to visit my native homeland after 5 years of being in the United States. I was raped by a family friend. As soon as I came back, I went to take a pregnancy and STD test because I had missed my period and was mostly worried about getting HIV. Luckily I wasn’t infected but I was pregnant. I decided to tell my mother who did not want to believe me, mostly for social reasons I believe. I decided to get an abortion because I wasn’t ready for a baby, especially one that I didn’t want. At the abortion clinic, the doctor had to repeat my labs twice to make sure there wasn’t a mistake. He informed me that I was severely anemic and that I would be taking a huge risk with the abortion. I was scared and didn’t get a second opinion. I decided to keep the child, rather than risk my life. I now realize that maybe I should have gotten a second opinion. My son was born a month before my 16^th birthday. I remember debating whether to have a sweet sixteen but deciding against it since I just had a baby. I went on to finish High School with my class without having to attend Summer School. I also played basketball my last 2 years. My mother was instrumental in watching my son and paying for childcare. I suggested getting a job after school but she didn’t want me to. I got my first job the summer after High School at white Castle. I remember all my money going to childcare, but I didn’t care. I did not want my mother being financially responsible for my son more than she had to be. I enrolled in college to become a Registered Nurse. At the age of 24, I became a licensed RN and got my BSN at the age of 25. I have been living on my own since I was 20. I worked extremely hard to get where I am because I didn’t just want my life to waste away. I was torn between loving my son and accepting him as what he was: a child conceived of rape. But I knew that I decided to keep him so I had to do my best. I am still plagued but it is a work in progress. I often think of how carefree my life would have been had I not been raped but I try to push those thoughts out of my mind because they do not benefit me. I can’t say that I am a perfect mother but God knows I have tried and still try to do right by my son. Life always throws obstacles. It is up to us to brace ourselves and weather the storm. I am still weathering my storm but I hope to see some calm over the horizon.”

In the first issue of Homegirl NYC, international AIDS activist Hydeia Broadent, who was born with HIV and had full-blown AIDS by age three, shares her story. Here’s an excerpt:

Hydeia Broadbent on the cover of Poz magazine. Photo courtesy of the magazine.

“I am 26 years old. I take 3 HIV/AIDS medications a day and I go to the doctor every three to six months, more if I am feeling ill. I went to college but I had to stop going because I was sick and needed to rest. It is possible for someone living with HIV/AIDS to have a relationship but partners have to be educated on how to stay safe. I am dating someone I have known since high school. We plan on getting married after he is done with school. At one point I was madly in love with someone who was ashamed of letting people know I had full-blown AIDS, which hurt and sometimes brought me down. From that I learned I needed to date a man who was sure of who he was and able to handle people if they said negative things. I can have children without passing HIV onto them but I’m not sure if I will take that risk. I try to stay positive because there are people who are no longer here with us, and I don’t want to walk around depressed when I have a heartbeat. So I try not to think about death. I look at it like everything that lives and breathes will die—I could get hit by a car. I try not to think about it ‘til that day comes. Yes, it’s always there in the back of my mind but it does not affect my everyday outlook.

Hydeia B. in 2009, by Robert John Kley. Photo courtesy of Hydeia.

I am an HIV/AIDS activist. I travel all over the country and the world, speaking at colleges, health conferences and youth events about HIV/AIDS. People think they can tell when someone has HIV/AIDS–they have an image in their minds of maybe of a gay man or an IV drug user, as if those are the only people at risk. I am here to say that image is so wrong! Take me as an example and wipe that right out of your mind. Please remember your health is your responsibility, no one else’s! If you are in a relationship, go with your partner to get tested. If you can’t go together, is this really the person you should be sleeping with? It’s 2010 and we need to understand you can die from having sex! Yes, sex is a beautiful thing and I am not telling anyone not to have sex, but I am tell you to be safe and educate yourself. Getting tested is free and so are condoms in different heath centers or free clinics in every city. All you have to do is Google locations or look them up in the phonebook. We all need to do our part, this is our problem!”

Today is HIV vaccine awareness day… spread the word. To find a testing site near you, visit www.hivtest.org.

Connect with Hydeia online through email (Hydeiabroadbent@gmail.com) or on myspace at www.myspace.com/hydeiabroadbent. Check out the rest of what Hydeia had to say in the magazine, available now. 

Question. How do pregnant girls get treated at your school? What do people say about them behind their backs? That they’re fast? Irresponsible? Statistics? Ruining their lives? What do you say? Or, what have you had said about you?

Gabby Rodriguez talks Stereotypes, Rumors and Statistics. Photo courtesy of Seattle Weekly.

Well, one teen wanted to find out for herself, so she posed as a pregnant teen. Gaby Rodriguez, 17, walked around with a fake belly for six months for her senior project “Stereotypes, Rumors and Statistics.” A straight-A student, Gaby wasn’t spared any of the usual gossip so she wrote down what people said about her and talked about how it made her feel during an assembly where she revealed her ruse. Gaby hoped that what she learned would help other girls (especially other Latinas who statistically have a high rate of teen pregnancy) fight stereotypes. Seems extreme, but do you think she made her point?

Surprise! Beyonce shows up at P.S. 161 in Harlem and gets it poppin' as part of the "Let's Move" campaign. Image courtesy of Getty Images.

As First Lady Michelle Obama implied yesterday, who doesn’t like Beyonce? Even if you don’t, you gotta respect her work ethic. After remixing “Get Me Bodied” to fit the theme for Mrs. Obama’s “Let’s Move” Campaign, B showed up to P.S. 161 in Harlem to do the “Let’s Move Flash Workout” with students. Gotta love it. Shout out to everyone getting (and staying) in shape.

Meet P. Star.

P. Star. Photo courtesy of Hunc Records.

You may have heard her called the “Young Feminist Phenomenon,” (from her rap label) or “The Young Harlem Phenomenon” (from her movie poster). If not, you should get to know her. She’s young (16), she raps (since she was 9!), she sings, she acts (currently starring as Jessica on “The Electric Company”), she dances, and she definitely reps for the young ladies. Her life seems really sweet, but it hasn’t always been this way.

What’s your personal life like?

My career is like my personal life because honestly, I have a great time with what I do. But of course I have a personal life — going out to the movies, hanging out with friends, talking, chatting, all those kinds of things. My dad lets me have my personal time but there’s always time for work.

You’re already on a TV show. What’s the “Electric Company” about?

“The Electric Company” is a TV show on PBS. I’m one of the main characters and I got into that when I was 13. We did a pilot, they picked up the show, they liked who I was, and they wanted to keep me a part of the cast. The whole show is just absolutely amazing. The Electric Company was an old show back in the 1970s. [When] we brought it back, [it became this] whole new modern, urban world, and it brings these kids out to music, dance, and learning, which is

what’s so great about it.

What’s next for you?

Because of this movie, we’re still traveling and doing a lot of promotion and premieres. We also have the soundtrack for the movie, P. Star Rising, which is pretty exciting. We also have this new type of sound that P. Star has that not a lot of [established] fans are familiar with. I’m excited to get [both] the album and that sound out and have kids come along with me and just to make a bigger fan base.

 

Track Master.

What’s it like being to young and being able to do something you love already?

It’s a blessing. God has blessed me with a talent and a great gift, and with opportunities. A lot of doors have opened and I actually got to take that opportunity and do what I wanted to do. So I really have to say that I’m blessed, it’s amazing and I don’t take anything for granted.

Any advice for other teens?

Honestly, I have to say that dreams are kind of like wishes. Dreams are whatever you want them to be. and as long as you’re dedicated to it, as long as you know what you want, don’t give up. Don’t give up. Whatever anybody says to you, that you’re wack or corny or whatever, don’t believe that. Everyone has their own creativity and thats what’s so important nowadays. Do what you have to do. Don’t stop.

 

Doing her thing.

Oh, and yes, she writes her own rhymes.

You can find P. Star just about everywhere. Myspace. Facebook. iTunes. T.V. YouTube. To hear some of her music, check out her video for “Daddy’s Little Girl.”

]]> http://homegirlnyc.com/2011/04/11/meet-p-star-harlems-own-rhyme-star-pop-princess/feed/ 0 arcynta P. Star Face Time Track Master Laying down a track. http://homegirlnyc.com/2011/04/02/chicago-girl-goes-from-the-projects-to-yale-then-back-again/ http://homegirlnyc.com/2011/04/02/chicago-girl-goes-from-the-projects-to-yale-then-back-again/#comments Sat, 02 Apr 2011 22:14:11 +0000 arcynta http://homegirlnyc.com/?p=1234 Read More

]]> By now we all know that life isn’t fair. And that it doesn’t spread it’s unfairness around evenly—some people get too much, while others never seem to get enough. So what do you do when it seems like life keeps picking on you? Whatever it takes to change your circumstances.

 

Timeica E. Bethel talks about the long journey from the projects to Yale. Image courtesy of msnbc.com.

Meet Timeica Bethel, a college senior who grew up rough. Her drug-adicted mother abandoned her when she was three and sent Timeica (and her three siblings) to live with their grandmother in the LeClair Courts public housing projects in Chicago. Timeica loved to read, excelled in school, got a scholarship to private high school and went to Yale University, where she’s now a senior. She graduates in May and plans to go back home and teach the kids who are now live where she’s from that anything’s possible. Check out her interview with msnbc and see what she has to say for herself.

And I’m not trying to get all “where there’s a will there’s a way” preachy on you, but don’t let people kill your dreams.

-arcynta

]]> http://homegirlnyc.com/2011/04/02/chicago-girl-goes-from-the-projects-to-yale-then-back-again/feed/ 0 arcynta Timeica E. Bethel