Teen Dating Violence: Recognize the Signs

The following information was provided by Day One, an organization working to end dating abuse in New York. I am reprinting the information here, verbatim, for your information.

Step Two : Recognize the Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

You have the right to a safe and healthy relationship- a relationship free from violence and fear. Know the warning signs of an abusive relationship.

Your Partner:

• Is extremely jealous or insecure
• Constantly puts you down
• Is possessive or treats you like property
• Tells you what to do
• Has an explosive temper
• Makes false accusations
• Isolates you from family and friends
• Blames you for his/her problems

You:

• Apologize for your partner’s behavior and make excuses for it
• Worry about upsetting your partner or getting him/her angry
• Stop doing things that were important to you because you want to make your partner happy
• Cancel plans with your friends at the last minute more often
• Try to hide injuries and bruises

Healthy Relationship Quiz

1. Does your partner accuse you of flirting or cheating even though you’re not? Does he/she constantly check up on you or always make you check in? Does your partner tell you how to dress or get upset when you wear certain clothes?
2. Does your partner try to control what you do and how you spend your time? Does he/she try to keep you from seeing or talking to people you are care about?
3. Does your partner have big mood swings where one minute he/she is angry and yelling at you, and the next minute he/she is sweet and apologetic and says he/she can’t live without you? Do you often feel like you’re “walking on eggshells?”
4. Does your partner put you down or criticize you? Does he/she make you feel like you can’t do anything right or that no one else would want you?
5. Does your partner yell, grab, shove, punch, slap, hold you down, throw things or hurt you in any other way?
6. Does your partner threaten to hurt you or somebody you care about (like him/herself, your family, your friends or your pets)?
7. Does your partner force or pressure you into having sex or going further than you want to?

If you answered yes to some of these questions, your relationship may not be as healthy as you deserve. Day One can help! Call Day One at 800.214.4150 to have a confidential conversation with a lawyer.