Archive

the Bronx

Khalya Hopkins

One of the most talked about articles in the first issue (and a fav with the GGE crew) was about Khalya Hopkins. If you haven’t read her story, you should, but in brief, she got pregnant when she was 14 (under some difficult circumstances) and didn’t let being a teenage mom stop her from finishing high school, going to graduate school and becoming a teacher. It wasn’t glamorous or easy, but she did it. Meeting her, talking to her and hearing her story, it’s not hard to understand why. She’s driven.

The first thing I noticed when I met Khalya, though, were her nails…and I had to ask her about them during our interview.  “In high school, the first year, you’re fresh meat,” she said. “Every guy is trying to bag you. The honors girls are the ‘it girls,’ if you’re cute, it was extra. We were in high demand.” After she had her daughter, though, things changed. “I was a real bum,” she said. “We went from 10 to zero on the radar, looking raggedy. It was a joke, our children were fly.”

"My parents told me, don't half ass anything," Khalya said. "That's my policy on everything."

Things started to pick up , she got a little money and she’d get her hair done. She started getting her nails done at 14 because she wanted to be creative. “In high school, your whole purpose in life is to out-do your friends, whether you say it or not. I wanted to be known for something other than my daughter.” So she let it be known that any guy she dated had to get her nails done. She started getting long tips in college and soon she became known for it, so she got as creative as she could. The reactions have been mixed- “That’s not professional,” and  “How can you work?” are common comments. There are people who want to take pictures and others who are repulsed. But Khalya says, “They’re not professional and I don’t ever pretend that they are, however, they are icebreakers,” and they get the conversation started. What she has to say is certainly worth it.

"You always want to have your own identity...if it's on your own terms, it's cool." Photograph by Valerie Caesar.

Some of the GGE girls really related to Khalya’s story (the boyfriend drama) and were happy to see her succeed. They also wanted to know how it ended—

Did her father’s boyfriend even get out of jail? Yes.

Are they back together? No.

What happened? Her parents tried to get her to reconcile with him because they wanted a traditional family unit and wanted to use it was a way to “de-gay” her, but the relationship did not work. She’s also gay, btw.

Can we contact her on facebook? Yes. Search for her name- Khalya Hopkins.

It’s Hispanic Heritage Week, y’all!!! (I thought it was a month-long celebration from Sept. 15-Oct. 15?) I have been slacking, I know, but I’m ready to catch up.

So, what better place to start than a story (and video) from NY1 on our newest United States Supreme Court Justice (and Bronx Homegirl) Sonia Sotomayor?  Today, the first Monday in October, is her first day on the Supreme Court, as the court begins its new term.

sotomayorQuick facts, just in case you haven’t been paying attention. Sonia Sotomayor was born in the Bronx in 1954 to two Puerto Rican immigrants. Her father, who did not speak English or have much formal, worked in a factory and her mother was a telephone operator and later a nurse. Sotomayor was diagnosed with diabetes at age 8 and her father died when she was 9.  She was raised in the Bronxdale Housing Projects where her family lived.

Sonia Sotomayor went to Princeton for college and graduated with the highest honors. She then went to Yale Law School. She married her high school sweetheart right before going to law school, but the marriage didn’t last. In law school, like in high school, she was an excellent student.

After law school, she worked as an assistant district attorney in NYC for five years, which began her distinguished legal career as both a prosecutor and a judge. In May of this year, President Obama nominated Sotomayor to the highest court in the country. She was confirmed, making her the first Hispanic judge on the Supreme Court, and the third woman, ever. Yes, you can. Or I should say, Si, se puede.

Read more about her, her experience, and views on controversial issues here.  And about her “wise Latina woman” statement (and effect on the culture) here.

Khalya Hopkins is the kind of girl people talk about. She had a baby when she was 15 and regularly sports two-inch, multi-colored nails, so, she’s used to the chatter. This time, Khalya’s having her say and opening up to hg-nyc about growing up in the Bronx, her teen pregnancy, and the struggle to define herself as more than just another statistic.

Khalya is from what she calls a “good family”—her biological parents have been together for 30 years; her mother stays-at-home and her father is an ironworker. Together they raised six children in the Bronx; Khalya was the second eldest and a daddy’s girl.

Khalya was 13 when she started dating the guy who would become her child’s father, a neighborhood kid she lost her virginity to after two months of dating. Most people who knew her were surprised. She was going into her high school honors program and he was 16 years old and already on probation. “Your options are kind of limited,” Khalya said. “You hit your puberty stages and guys start looking cute to you, but if you’re only in a ten-black radius majority of your day, this is who you come across.”

The two dated for ten months until things went downhill and they stopped speaking at the end of June. Then, within a four-day time span, Khalya’s life changed forever. In early July, he committed a crime, was arrested and sent to Riker’s Island—just in time for his seventeenth birthday. The next day, Khalya found out she was pregnant.

She had just finished her freshman year of high school. Her dad stopped speaking to her for two months. And because her ex-boyfriend’s crime was gang-related, she had to be isolated for her safety and the safety of her child.

And the bombs kept dropping. When she went to the doctor for the first time, she was tested for STDs and found out she had contracted Chlamydia, a disease that doctors told her could have blinded her daughter if not treated early.

“I was breaking down crying, because, you know, it’s bad enough that you’re pregnant, but now you’re diseased and pregnant so it gets worse,” she said. “That was a bad week for me.”

Khalya was overwhelmed, devastated and isolated, but she decided to have the baby.

While Khalya didn’t suffer from morning sickness, the strain of her pregnancy—doctor’s appointments, frequent trips to the bathroom, and fatigue—caused her grades to drop significantly. “Even though I didn’t drop out, I was definitely struggling just from a lack of time,” she said. “I had to deal with the pressure of possibly being kicked out of my honors classes and being put in ‘regular classes.’”

It was a lot for her to deal with, especially as a high school sophomore. “It wasn’t your average 15-year-old experience,” she said, “but it was my routine.”

Khalya had her daughter on March 6, 2000—she had just turned 15 in November. She was in labor for 3 ½ hours and gave birth naturally, with no epidural. She returned to school two months later, just in time to take her Regents exams, which she barely passed.

She took the summer to figure things out. She says that her family helped a lot—her little sisters and her mother would baby sit and her father gave her money. But being a teenage mom was hard.

“The first eight months, I was a terrible mother,” she said. “It was summer, my body had just gotten back to normal and I was like, ‘no I can’t be held prisoner in this house with this little girl, I don’t even know her,’” Khalya said. “I was just trying to escape, basically, and I think everybody could tell that.”

That summer, she was the talk of the neighborhood. Even her friends’ parents didn’t want them to associate with her, thinking she was a bad influence. Khalya says the negativity hurt, but it also motivated her.

Through it all, school was always a priority. “My dad said, ‘you’re not going to be pregnant and dumb, so you have to go back to school. Because if you’re stupid, this baby is going to be probably just a dumb as you are,” Khalya said. So she did go back to school, and was able to take her daughter with her.

The LYFE Program at her school helped a lot. Teen moms were allowed to keep their children in daycare, but they had to attend class; if not, Khalya said, they could lose their child’s spot in the program.

Through the program, the teen moms at her school were able to talk to teen moms at a Brooklyn school via satellite. “I thought that was probably the smartest idea they had,” Khalya said. “We would talk about issues that we had with our children and how we couldn’t study sometimes and how it was balancing our time and the relationships with our children’s fathers,” she said. It also gave Khalya confidence in talking about her own situation and made her interested in working with other teens.

Khalya graduated from DeWitt Clinton High School with a high school diploma and a Regents diploma a semester early. She chose to attend Hunter College through the Search for Education, Elevation and Knowledge (SEEK) Program; one that she says is for economically and educationally disadvantaged students. She had her own counselor and was able to enroll her daughter in day care at the school, while she was in classes during the day, for a reduced rate because of her income. She decided to major in English Adolescent Education and minor in Africana/Latino Studies.

Khalya says she graduated magna cum laude from Hunter with a 3.8 GPA. She was also inducted into the Phi Beta Kappa college honor society. That same year, her daughter, then 6, graduated from kindergarten. As a graduation gift, Khalya took the two of them on their first airplane ride— to go to Disney World.

Khalya and her daughter
Khalya and her daughter

After college, Khalya want to graduate school and was hired as a recruitment counselor for the SEEK program. “It was almost like I was a spokesperson for more than one thing,” she said. “Not only was teen pregnancy an issue but my socio-economic status was a big deal because people believe that the only way to get rich or the only way to be successful is to wear chains and have certain types of jobs.”

Now, in addition to being a student and a mother, she was also a professional woman. Khalya also continued to work with teens, speaking at shelters, high schools and the Sojourner Truth house. She wanted to tell her own story and encourage them to go to school, or at least know that college is an option.

Khalya graduated this past spring with her master’s degree in English Literature. She also decided to work with teens full-time. “I felt like I was needed before they got to [the college] level,” she said. “There are not enough students looking at college as an option. So now I feel like I need to be with adolescents.”

Khalya has a way with people. She is very open and honest about her life and people, especially teens, open up to her because of it. And then there are her nails.

DSC02824

Khalya started getting her nails done in high school, to stand out for something other than being a teen mom.

“In high school, the first year, you’re fresh meat,” Khalya said. “Every guy is trying to bag you. The honors girls are the ‘it girls,’ [and] if you’re cute, it was extra.” But after she had her baby, she said she went from 10 to zero on the radar and regularly went to school looking “raggedy,” even though her daughter was fly. So, when she got a little money, she started getting her hair and nails done.

“In high school, your whole purpose in life is to out-do your friends, whether you say it or not,” she said. “I wanted to be known for something other than my daughter.”

She started getting long tips in college and just got as creative as she could with the designs. And they definitely attract attention, both positive and negative. One frequent comment is that her nails aren’t professional. “They’re not professional and I don’t ever pretend they are,” she said. “However, they are icebreakers.”

What started off as a teenage mom’s statement to the world, that “you’re going to see me,” is now her trademark. And so far, hasn’t hurt her professionally. After graduating from Hunter, she applied for the New York City Teaching Fellows Program and was accepted. She began teaching this fall.

When Khalya was 14 and pregnant, she wrote a letter, to her godmother, which she read back to Khalya after she graduated with her master’s degree. In it, a young Khalya said, ““I told you one day I was going to make you proud. This [pregnancy] is not the only thing you’re going to remember me for.”

Listening to herself at 14, Khalya said, “I don’t want people to remember me as a teenage mom, like that’s the only thing I’m good for.” So she uses her story and her voice to help make a difference.

Khalya says that her daughter is her biggest inspiration, outside of God. Her story may inspire other teens and teen moms  to say the same thing about her.

Khalya in her classroom
Khalya in her classroom

So, tonight, Tuesday, September 22, @ 10:00 p.m., PBS is showing the short documentary, Bronx Princess and I really encourage you to watch it. Channel 13 in NYC; Channel 50 in Jersey. ( I know you all know how to find TV stations…)

(And I’m also just realizing that this comes on at the same time as Brick City. But I would say, if you have to choose, watch this. Brick City will come on again and probably be available online. Bronx Princess won’t be downloadable. Plus, it’s about a Princess in the Bronx! How could you not watch it?)

The film follows the journey of Bronx teen Rocky Otoo, from her life here in NYC where she lives with her mother, a beauty supply store owner, to Ghana, where she and her father are royalty. Here’s the trailer:

Earlier this month, the film was screened at Mullaly Park in the Bronx. I went, saw the movie and I have to say that I recommend watching. It’s a really interesting look at a lot of the issues that teen girls everywhere go through-  not getting along with your parents (especially your mother), establishing independence, balancing fun and responsibilities, identity,  beauty, culture, growing up, moving out, planning for the future.  So, make sure you check it out.

Here are some photos from the screening:

Screening location: Bronx, NY

Screening location: Bronx, NY

Sidewalk Chalk for the kiddies

Sidewalk Chalk for the kiddies

There was a community fair to celebrate the movie.

There was a community fair to celebrate the movie.

Making fudge out of: confectioner's sugar, cocoa, peanut butter, cream cheese, vanilla extract. No baking required. Seriously.

Making fudge out of: confectioner's sugar, cocoa, peanut butter, cream cheese, vanilla extract. No baking required. Seriously.

Good times.

Good times.

Arm decorating

Arm decorating

West African Adinkra Symbol: "Nyame Dua, "tree of god," symbol of God's presence and protection"

West African Adinkra Symbol: "Nyame Dua, "tree of god," symbol of God's presence and protection"

Osram Ne Nsoromma, "the moon and the star," symbol of love, faithfulness, harmony

Osram Ne Nsoromma, "the moon and the star," symbol of love, faithfulness, harmony

Musical Performances

Musical Performances

Dancing

Dancing

A little more

A little more

Featured Musical Guests-  Blitz the Ambassador with The Embassy Ensemble. Blurry shot. Good music.

Featured Musical Guests- Blitz the Ambassador with The Embassy Ensemble. Blurry shot. Good music.

Presented by Rooftop Films (and a bunch of other sponsors)

Presented by Rooftop Films (and a bunch of other sponsors)

The Crew: Musa Syeed (Director/Producter), Rocky Atoo (Start), Marco Williams (Executive Producer)

The Crew: Musa Syeed (Director/Producter), Rocky Otoo (Start), Marco Williams (Executive Producer)

Rocky signing autographs afterwards.

Rocky signing autographs afterwards.

Hey, homegirls! What did you do this Sunday? I went to the Bronx Native- American Festival (that ride to Pehlham Bay Park was SO long from Brooklyn, but you know I’ll do anything for you, dolls!)

The festival was very much a family-oriented event- something you can go out to with the whole fam and have a fairly good time. And I was particularly impressed that the activities related back to Native American History specific to the area that is now the Bronx. The majority of the people there were families (with younger children), but there some teenage folk in the place, too.

I went, I saw, I heard, I learned, I recorded and I enjoyed, for the most part. I wish I had a video camera (working on that, next year definitely). But here are some pics from the day.

Activities with very well-informed park staff

Activities with very well-informed park staff

Supplies- potatoes, berries, and plastic forks

Supplies- potatoes, berries, and plastic forks

Instructions- use the knife to cut the potato in half; then carve a design in the potato and cut away the excess (creating a design pattern); mash berries in a small container; dip potato into mashed berries and apply to fabric or pottery!
Instructions- use the knife to cut the potato in half; then carve a design in the potato and cut away the excess (creating a design pattern); mash berries in a small container; dip potato into mashed berries and apply to fabric or pottery!
A little crowd participation
A little crowd participation
And voila! Decorated deerskin (SO soft) clothing, in this case.

And voila! Decorated deerskin (SO soft) clothing, in this case.

Traditional (male) Headdress

Traditional (male) Headdress

MC
MC
Live music/performances
Live music/performances
A little fun for everyone (hopefully, including the  horse)
A little fun for everyone (hopefully, including the horse)
Know me, love me, pet me
Know me, love me, pet me
People came out
People came out
...and got to know each other (preparing to learn and do a traditional dance)
…and got to know each other (preparing to learn and do a traditional dance)
DSC02799 DSC02809
A TV station was there.

A TV station was there.

Perhaps a j-school student...

Perhaps a j-school student...

DSC02814

And, of course, the kiddies!

And, of course, the kiddies!