Khalya Hopkins is the kind of girl people talk about. She had a baby when she was 15 and regularly sports two-inch, multi-colored nails, so, she’s used to the chatter. This time, Khalya’s having her say and opening up to hg-nyc about growing up in the Bronx, her teen pregnancy, and the struggle to define herself as more than just another statistic.

Khalya is from what she calls a “good family”—her biological parents have been together for 30 years; her mother stays-at-home and her father is an ironworker. Together they raised six children in the Bronx; Khalya was the second eldest and a daddy’s girl.

Khalya was 13 when she started dating the guy who would become her child’s father, a neighborhood kid she lost her virginity to after two months of dating. Most people who knew her were surprised. She was going into her high school honors program and he was 16 years old and already on probation. “Your options are kind of limited,” Khalya said. “You hit your puberty stages and guys start looking cute to you, but if you’re only in a ten-black radius majority of your day, this is who you come across.”

The two dated for ten months until things went downhill and they stopped speaking at the end of June. Then, within a four-day time span, Khalya’s life changed forever. In early July, he committed a crime, was arrested and sent to Riker’s Island—just in time for his seventeenth birthday. The next day, Khalya found out she was pregnant.

She had just finished her freshman year of high school. Her dad stopped speaking to her for two months. And because her ex-boyfriend’s crime was gang-related, she had to be isolated for her safety and the safety of her child.

And the bombs kept dropping. When she went to the doctor for the first time, she was tested for STDs and found out she had contracted Chlamydia, a disease that doctors told her could have blinded her daughter if not treated early.

“I was breaking down crying, because, you know, it’s bad enough that you’re pregnant, but now you’re diseased and pregnant so it gets worse,” she said. “That was a bad week for me.”

Khalya was overwhelmed, devastated and isolated, but she decided to have the baby.

While Khalya didn’t suffer from morning sickness, the strain of her pregnancy—doctor’s appointments, frequent trips to the bathroom, and fatigue—caused her grades to drop significantly. “Even though I didn’t drop out, I was definitely struggling just from a lack of time,” she said. “I had to deal with the pressure of possibly being kicked out of my honors classes and being put in ‘regular classes.’”

It was a lot for her to deal with, especially as a high school sophomore. “It wasn’t your average 15-year-old experience,” she said, “but it was my routine.”

Khalya had her daughter on March 6, 2000—she had just turned 15 in November. She was in labor for 3 ½ hours and gave birth naturally, with no epidural. She returned to school two months later, just in time to take her Regents exams, which she barely passed.

She took the summer to figure things out. She says that her family helped a lot—her little sisters and her mother would baby sit and her father gave her money. But being a teenage mom was hard.

“The first eight months, I was a terrible mother,” she said. “It was summer, my body had just gotten back to normal and I was like, ‘no I can’t be held prisoner in this house with this little girl, I don’t even know her,’” Khalya said. “I was just trying to escape, basically, and I think everybody could tell that.”

That summer, she was the talk of the neighborhood. Even her friends’ parents didn’t want them to associate with her, thinking she was a bad influence. Khalya says the negativity hurt, but it also motivated her.

Through it all, school was always a priority. “My dad said, ‘you’re not going to be pregnant and dumb, so you have to go back to school. Because if you’re stupid, this baby is going to be probably just a dumb as you are,” Khalya said. So she did go back to school, and was able to take her daughter with her.

The LYFE Program at her school helped a lot. Teen moms were allowed to keep their children in daycare, but they had to attend class; if not, Khalya said, they could lose their child’s spot in the program.

Through the program, the teen moms at her school were able to talk to teen moms at a Brooklyn school via satellite. “I thought that was probably the smartest idea they had,” Khalya said. “We would talk about issues that we had with our children and how we couldn’t study sometimes and how it was balancing our time and the relationships with our children’s fathers,” she said. It also gave Khalya confidence in talking about her own situation and made her interested in working with other teens.

Khalya graduated from DeWitt Clinton High School with a high school diploma and a Regents diploma a semester early. She chose to attend Hunter College through the Search for Education, Elevation and Knowledge (SEEK) Program; one that she says is for economically and educationally disadvantaged students. She had her own counselor and was able to enroll her daughter in day care at the school, while she was in classes during the day, for a reduced rate because of her income. She decided to major in English Adolescent Education and minor in Africana/Latino Studies.

Khalya says she graduated magna cum laude from Hunter with a 3.8 GPA. She was also inducted into the Phi Beta Kappa college honor society. That same year, her daughter, then 6, graduated from kindergarten. As a graduation gift, Khalya took the two of them on their first airplane ride— to go to Disney World.

Khalya and her daughter
Khalya and her daughter

After college, Khalya want to graduate school and was hired as a recruitment counselor for the SEEK program. “It was almost like I was a spokesperson for more than one thing,” she said. “Not only was teen pregnancy an issue but my socio-economic status was a big deal because people believe that the only way to get rich or the only way to be successful is to wear chains and have certain types of jobs.”

Now, in addition to being a student and a mother, she was also a professional woman. Khalya also continued to work with teens, speaking at shelters, high schools and the Sojourner Truth house. She wanted to tell her own story and encourage them to go to school, or at least know that college is an option.

Khalya graduated this past spring with her master’s degree in English Literature. She also decided to work with teens full-time. “I felt like I was needed before they got to [the college] level,” she said. “There are not enough students looking at college as an option. So now I feel like I need to be with adolescents.”

Khalya has a way with people. She is very open and honest about her life and people, especially teens, open up to her because of it. And then there are her nails.

DSC02824

Khalya started getting her nails done in high school, to stand out for something other than being a teen mom.

“In high school, the first year, you’re fresh meat,” Khalya said. “Every guy is trying to bag you. The honors girls are the ‘it girls,’ [and] if you’re cute, it was extra.” But after she had her baby, she said she went from 10 to zero on the radar and regularly went to school looking “raggedy,” even though her daughter was fly. So, when she got a little money, she started getting her hair and nails done.

“In high school, your whole purpose in life is to out-do your friends, whether you say it or not,” she said. “I wanted to be known for something other than my daughter.”

She started getting long tips in college and just got as creative as she could with the designs. And they definitely attract attention, both positive and negative. One frequent comment is that her nails aren’t professional. “They’re not professional and I don’t ever pretend they are,” she said. “However, they are icebreakers.”

What started off as a teenage mom’s statement to the world, that “you’re going to see me,” is now her trademark. And so far, hasn’t hurt her professionally. After graduating from Hunter, she applied for the New York City Teaching Fellows Program and was accepted. She began teaching this fall.

When Khalya was 14 and pregnant, she wrote a letter, to her godmother, which she read back to Khalya after she graduated with her master’s degree. In it, a young Khalya said, ““I told you one day I was going to make you proud. This [pregnancy] is not the only thing you’re going to remember me for.”

Listening to herself at 14, Khalya said, “I don’t want people to remember me as a teenage mom, like that’s the only thing I’m good for.” So she uses her story and her voice to help make a difference.

Khalya says that her daughter is her biggest inspiration, outside of God. Her story may inspire other teens and teen moms  to say the same thing about her.

Khalya in her classroom
Khalya in her classroom

When I first decided to do the whole magazine thing, followed by the whole blog thing, the first thing I knew I needed (besides a kick ass idea) was a really great name. And that was a lot harder than it may seem.

I looked at the names of some other teen publications that I read- from the most basic, like Teen (is that still around?) and Seventeen; to the junior women’s mags, like CosmoGIRL! (r.i.p), Elle Girl (r.i.p), and Teen Vogue; including the “niche” (read: ethnic) mags like, Young Sisters and Brothers (r.i.p.) and QuinceGirl (which, admittedly, I’ve never read).

Teen Magazine (still around, who knew?)

Teen Magazine (still around, who knew?)

CosmoGIRL! (r.i.p.)

CosmoGIRL! (r.i.p.)

Elle Girl (r.i.p.)

Elle Girl (r.i.p.)

YSB (r.i.p.)

YSB (r.i.p.)

And I thought, eh…nothing really snazzy about any of them. They get the point across that they are magazines for teens, but that’s about it. Since I was starting from scratch, on my own, and quite unknown, I needed a really good name. One word that just says it all. Like  Sassy and Fierce (not for teens, but still, young adults).

Sassy (r.i.p)

Sassy (r.i.p)

Fierce Magazine (r.i.p.)

Fierce Magazine (r.i.p.)

So I wanted the name to be jazzy enough that it would draw people’s attention (and make them want to pick it up and read or at least browse through it) but not too edgy that it would turn people off; a name that would speak to teen girls, but didn’t sound too cutesy; a name that was fresh, but not too gritty- in a way, I wanted something perfect, without playing it too safe.  I  wanted a name that would reflect what the magazine stands for and speak to the girls I’m trying to reach, the girls I’m writing about and the girls I’m writing for.

I wanted that. So I thought and looked words up in both the dictionary and the thesaurus until I found it. It was perfect! But it was taken. So I found another. Perfect! But there were too many incarnations of it online. I wanted something that was unique. And then it came to me- homegirl.

I knew what it meant. I used it to refer to a certain group of girls I knew from college who were from my hometown. We weren’t the closest of friends, but being from the same place was something that connected us, that endeared us to one another and set us apart from everyone else, from every place else. So I looked it up in the dictionary to make sure. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a homegirl is:

1 : a girl or woman from one’s neighborhood, hometown, or region

2: a girl or woman who is a member of one’s peer group

3: an inner-city girl or woman

Right. Right. Kind of perfect, no? The only thing was, I wondered if it would it only appeal to a certain kind of girl. You know, the ones for whom urban, hip-hop, and at-risk are synonymous. So I thought about it and here’s the deal.  1) Yes, the name homegirl does bring up images of fly girls in their b-girl stances and I’m cool with that because I am writing for them. 2) But I’m also writing for girls who have no idea what a b-girl stance looks like and 3) I think the content of what and whom I write about will reflect the diversity of what it means to be a homegirl, and a Tri-state homegirl at that.

So, whether you’re from Brooklyn, the Bronx, Queens, Harlem, Manhattan, Staten Island, Jersey, or Connecticut, come on in and get familiar. There’s something here for everyone. And if you don’t see something for you, email me (homegirl.nyc@gmail.com) and let me know so I can get right on top of that.

I’m here for you.

Teens Discover and Assert Sexual Identity Younger and Younger, September 27, 2009, NYT

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Cover story in the New York Times Magazine called, “Coming Out in Middle School,” about LGBTQ teens around the country coming out, younger and younger.

VH1 Divas Concert Filmed at BAM, September 24, 2009, NYP

Anyone watch the VH1 Divas concert? Well, this year it was filmed in Brooklyn and featured stars like Adele, Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson, India Aire, Leona Lewis and was hosted by Paula Abdul.

Jersey Schools Take a Stand Against Girl-on-Girl Hazing, September 21, 2009, NYT

Apparently there’s a lot of hazing going on at schools in Jersey since the school year began. School officials there want it stopped before it gets out of hand.

Bronx Teen Arrested for Making Threats to President Obama, September 21, 2009, NYDN

Bronx teen Jonathan Avalos, 18, made calls to 911, threatening to kill both President Obama and NY PoliccCommissioner Ray Kelly. The calls were traced, he was caught, and his mental state is being evaluated.


Online High-Schooling 09/24/09, Wall Street Journal

Going to high school online? Have you ever heard of such a thing? Well apparently there is and going to high school online has both benefits and challenges- like learning to socialize off the computer.

New CW Show about Flight Attendants, 09/23/09, Variety.com

CW and Virgin Airlines team up to bring you “Fly Girls,” a new reality show about the lives of a group of flight attendants and their high-flying adventures. Interesting.

Sweet Valley High: the Movie, 09/23/09, New York Daily News via The AP

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Diablo Cody (who’s film Jennifer’s Body was recently released in theaters) has been tapped to write the screenplay for  a Sweet Valley High movie and produce it for the big screen (!)

Teens Commits Suicide over Facebook Harassment, 09/21/09, NYDN

Holly Grogan, a 15-year-old British girl, jumped off a bridge last week after being being taunted, harassed and bullied at school and on Facebook. Very sad story.

Pregnant Teen Shot and Killed in Boston, 09/21/09, Boston Herald

03a4665e76_MurderMother_2_09212009-1

Paula Castillo, 18, was celebrating her birthday party when she was shot, apparently by one of the boys she told to “keep on walking,” to prevent them from crashing her part.

First woman (ever) Appointed Top Drill Sergeant in the Army, 09/21/09, The New York Times

sergeant_600

Command Sgt. Maj. Teresa L. King, 48 is that woman. She will be in charge of the army’s drill instructor school in Fort Jackson, S.C.- meaning that she (along with her staff) is in charge of training all the drill sergeants in the Army, who then train all of the new recruits.

Have any of you ever heard of the writer Elizabeth Nunez? Or read any of her books? No? Well, maybe you should. In fact, maybe we should. Book club, anyone? Let’s let that marinate.

So on Wednesday night, I went to Hue-Man Bookstore (on Frederick Douglass Blvd. in Harlem) to hear Dr. Nunez (please don’t call her by her first name) read from her latest novel, Anna In Between. This book is Dr. Nunez’ 7th (!) book and tells the story of Anna, a successful book publisher living in New York who goes home to Trinidad to spend some time with her aging parents. When she gets there, she finds out that her mother has cancer. On top that that, Anna, is forced to deal with a lot of issues of identity and understand where she comes from and where she belongs. She was born in Trinidad, but lived most of her life in the U.S., so she feels in-between both places, and both cultures. She is also spending a lot of time with her parents and trying to understand their relationship (which she doesn’t), getting  to know them as people (outside of being her parents), dealing with class issues (they are an upper-middle class family with a maid), and, as Nunez said, “using American eyes to judge her Caribbean family,” and culture.

Can any of you relate?

Well, the author, Elizabeth Nunez sure can. She was born in Trinidad, and is now a successful writer in New York. Her parents were upper-middle class, and her mother also had breast cancer. So she knows of what she writes. “The world viewed in American eyes is very different from the world viewed in Caribbean eyes,” she said.

Elizabeth Nunez at Hue Man; she writes...

Writer Elizabeth Nunez at Hue Man; she talks...

...she listens

...she listens

“If you really want to know a person, you have to look at them through their lenses, which is very hard to do.”

In the novel, Anna has to readjust to her homeland and reconnect to the physical landscape of the place where she was born. Nunez said that a write she admires, Barbadian George Lamming belives that “landscape is a destiny in a way,” meaning that  “landscape shapes us.” Do you believe that? How much have you been shaped by where you live? What is it about New York, about being a New York girl, that makes you who are you?

Nunez has written a bunch of books, many focusing on culture and identity, so check them out if you’re looking for a good read.

Anybody tuning in to “Brick City?” If not, you should be. If so then you know that lots of drama ensued on Tuesday night. Jayda got out of lock-up, got into a heated argument with her boyfriend over his faithfulness of lackthere of, kicked him out, and threatened to terminate her pregnancy. Yeah. So they made up (I could do an entire post on her friend, fellow Blood member Jiwe’s comment about cheating basically being a part of being a man, but I shan’t. Unless I can find the clip online) and moved into a new apartment.

In the latest episode, Jayda met with some advisors about starting a non-profit (and getting paid, as one advisor told her, for the work that she does in the community). She met with some of the girls who she wanted to be part of the “founding group,” of her nonprofit Nine (9) Strong Women. Here’s a video of that session-

Sounds amazing right? Well, I think so. She also had a sleepover for some of the girls that she mentors where they ate, danced, joked around and talked about what was going on in their lives. Jayda gave them some real advice about being careful of the people they let into their lives and choose to associate with and warned them of not being too trusting, saying to one girl in particular, “You want to know why I look at you? Because you have a beautiful heart and you are gullible as hell. You will believe anything. And that is the worst type of person to be in 2008 living in Newark, New Jersey.”

Let me tell you, that’s good advice at any age. Later, when Jayda leaves the room, the girls talk about how loved and cared for she makes them feel. One girl said (something like), “Jayda, that’s my homegirl, you know? I can talk to her about anything.” And then went on to say that she could call Jayda, at any time, to talk about anything, and that she knew Jayda would answer and be there for her. The girls seemed so amazed that Jayda could care so much about them and be willing to do so much for them, from the beginning, without even knowing them well. I loved that part.

Jayda is to those girls what I want this magazine to be to you- a homegirl- someone who gets you because they see part of themselves in you. Someone who cares for you and loves you dearly, without having any obligation to do so. Someone who wants to see you do your best and is willing to help you in any way that they can- including showing tough love. And being able to relate to someone in the way, having someone “get” it and “get” you,  like real homegirls can, is a beautiful thing. Don’t you agree?

So…90210 on Tuesday…did anybody watch it?

I was all set to write a synopsis when I discovered, lo and behold, the cw does it for you. If you missed it, check out their recap here.

Or you can check out mine-

Annie is still pissy about videogate and gets smart with her mom over the whole thing. Her parents disagree on how to handle it (dad wants to punish her, mom wants to talk it out) which causes some friction between them. The situation gets worse when dad talks to Kelly about their problems and takes her advice (that Annie’s been punished enough) and eases  up on Annie, leaving wifey feeling a bit jelly that he listened to Kelly and not to her (even though they were saying the same thing, basically). Dixon meets a new (older) girl and lies to impress her (about his age and leads her to believe that Navid’s lambo is his). Steve Sanders New boy (what IS his name?) decides to throw a party on his dad’s yacht and invites the whole gang where everything comes to a head, so to speak. Silver finds out that Naomi did send out the video, gets pissed and runs into Dixon’s new friend who (surprise!) is DJ-ing the party. Her feelings are hurt, but she goes over and meets her. She has the opportunity to bust Dixon for lying, but takes the high road instead, pointedly saying to Dixon, “I’m happy you finally found someone you can be yourself around.” Loved that. Love her. She also overhears Annie lashing out at Naomi (Annie lied and told Naomi that she and Liam did sleep together- totally blindsiding him- and says, “Isn’t it funny how every guy you love ends up loving me more,” or something like that just to hurt her back) Ouch. Silver was pissed at Naomi for lying to her about the video but she comforts her after that. They have a little heart to heart about love and broken hearts and removing tattoos- all of it very touching. Meanwhile, Navid and new boy bond and Navid decides he’s a good guy after all and that he likes him. New boy, for his part, tries to pull the okey-doke on Adrianna (reminiscing about when they lost their virginity to one another on that very boat, in that very kitchen) and gets rejected. Adrianna doesn’t kiss him, but she was tempted to.  Dixon (still lying) borrows Navid’s car to take DJ chick home…only she ends up driving and has no intention of going back to Beverly Hills, so she wisks him away for the weekend. Meanwhile, back on the farm, dad Harry is feeling some kind of way (intrigued, a bit guilty) about Kelly. She ims him and they set up a lunch date to talk. I’m guessing he knows something is wrong with wanting to talk to her more than his own wife, but ,what can you do? Aaaand…scene.

Interesting eppy. I will say this, Silver’s vulnerability feels very real to me. And while I applaud Adrianna for not kissing new boy while her bf was seasick upstairs, I wonder if she’s going to be able to stay locked-down if her feelings are…unclear.

Ok, girls. Truth time. After watching this episode, I had a few questions:

1) Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted them to be happy, even if it wasn’t with you? And I mean sincerely, not that knee-jerk “oh, I’m so happy for you,” thing that people do when they feel compelled to say something and don’t want to sound like bitter, jealous, shrews. It’s not easy being the “bigger person,” but does love compel you to do it?

2) What do you do if you are with the one you love, but you’re also feeling the one you aren’t with? Far be it from me to declare at what age relationships and feelings become “serious,” but what do you do if you are a teenager and your heart is pulling you in two different directions? Do you stay with your significant other (s.o. from here on out) out of obligation (and love, but, face it, obligation b/c you said you would) or do you risk hurting him/her and follow your heart? How much can you trust those feelings? What do you do? What have you done?

3) Did Annie actually have sex with video boy or what? Am I missing something?

Speak your piece, ladies…

So, tonight, Tuesday, September 22, @ 10:00 p.m., PBS is showing the short documentary, Bronx Princess and I really encourage you to watch it. Channel 13 in NYC; Channel 50 in Jersey. ( I know you all know how to find TV stations…)

(And I’m also just realizing that this comes on at the same time as Brick City. But I would say, if you have to choose, watch this. Brick City will come on again and probably be available online. Bronx Princess won’t be downloadable. Plus, it’s about a Princess in the Bronx! How could you not watch it?)

The film follows the journey of Bronx teen Rocky Otoo, from her life here in NYC where she lives with her mother, a beauty supply store owner, to Ghana, where she and her father are royalty. Here’s the trailer:

Earlier this month, the film was screened at Mullaly Park in the Bronx. I went, saw the movie and I have to say that I recommend watching. It’s a really interesting look at a lot of the issues that teen girls everywhere go through-  not getting along with your parents (especially your mother), establishing independence, balancing fun and responsibilities, identity,  beauty, culture, growing up, moving out, planning for the future.  So, make sure you check it out.

Here are some photos from the screening:

Screening location: Bronx, NY

Screening location: Bronx, NY

Sidewalk Chalk for the kiddies

Sidewalk Chalk for the kiddies

There was a community fair to celebrate the movie.

There was a community fair to celebrate the movie.

Making fudge out of: confectioner's sugar, cocoa, peanut butter, cream cheese, vanilla extract. No baking required. Seriously.

Making fudge out of: confectioner's sugar, cocoa, peanut butter, cream cheese, vanilla extract. No baking required. Seriously.

Good times.

Good times.

Arm decorating

Arm decorating

West African Adinkra Symbol: "Nyame Dua, "tree of god," symbol of God's presence and protection"

West African Adinkra Symbol: "Nyame Dua, "tree of god," symbol of God's presence and protection"

Osram Ne Nsoromma, "the moon and the star," symbol of love, faithfulness, harmony

Osram Ne Nsoromma, "the moon and the star," symbol of love, faithfulness, harmony

Musical Performances

Musical Performances

Dancing

Dancing

A little more

A little more

Featured Musical Guests-  Blitz the Ambassador with The Embassy Ensemble. Blurry shot. Good music.

Featured Musical Guests- Blitz the Ambassador with The Embassy Ensemble. Blurry shot. Good music.

Presented by Rooftop Films (and a bunch of other sponsors)

Presented by Rooftop Films (and a bunch of other sponsors)

The Crew: Musa Syeed (Director/Producter), Rocky Atoo (Start), Marco Williams (Executive Producer)

The Crew: Musa Syeed (Director/Producter), Rocky Otoo (Start), Marco Williams (Executive Producer)

Rocky signing autographs afterwards.

Rocky signing autographs afterwards.

Hey Homegirls!

I almost forgot to my weekly “Letter from the Editor.” Forgive me for my lateness, but it’s been a busy week. So let me rewind for a momentito, last week I had a moment. I think there were four days in there where I didn’t post anything. Not.a.thing. Troubling, since I had all sorts of things all lined up- a post on the start of Hispanic Heritage Month (September 15-October 15); a post on Stepfamily Day (September 16; did you know there was such a thing?); mentioning that it was Citizenship Day (September 17); I really wanted to get a post up about Ramadan (the last day was September 19); a post on this really compelling documentary about this teen hip-hop project here in NYC;  and I thought that a post on Georgia O’Keefe was be ideal. But I fell short.

Why, you ask? Well, to be honest, I got discouraged. See, I’ve been planning this magazine for a long time and even planning what I want to do in and with this blog long before I started it (I have an editorial calendar and everything. yes, I do.) But when things started to fall through (like the Muslim teen who I was going to interview about Ramadan or the interview I had with Miss Teen New York), I went through what I will call my four stages of pissivity, which lead to inactivity. That is : 1) I got annoyed. I had a plan, I did everything I could to make it happen and people were messing me up. I don’t like that. So 2) I got pissed. Especially since it was beyond my control. That made me 3) frustrated and feeling like the devil was trying to bring me (and my idea) down- blast him! Which made me 4) sad. I doubted myself, my idea and fell into a mini-sleepression. Which meant no blog, no posts, no anything really. I wasn’t eating right and just couldn’t get myself right side up again. What, you ask? What brought me out of it? Don’t laugh, but it was actually the Jay-Z/Alicia Keys song, “Empire State of Mind.” Really. I had never heard the song, as I don’t listen to the radio (shocking, isn’t it?) and didn’t watch the VMAs. But after reading so much about the much ballyho0-ed performance (and song. and tragic error that was Lil” Mama’s involvement), I decided to watch it. And I got SO inspired! So I went through the four stages of “get right.” That is I 1) Got inspired! which made me 2) remember my purpose, my reason for doing all of this- the youth! the girls! creating change! doing something I love! so I 3) re-focused my energy and remembered what my mom always says (hi mom!) why get upset and stress yourself out about something you can’t do anything about? You need to focus on what you can control. Which I did, and in doing so I 4) got off my ass and went to work. I mean all that thinking and being excited and inspired is all great. But at the end of the day, it’s really about the work. you have to do.the.work. full stop. So I went out to the Bronx Native American Festival, came back, passed out from fatigue, got back up and went to work.

And yes, I’m still bumping the song on my ipod. Thanks, Mr. Carter!

You can look up the VMA performance with Alicia Keys if you want to, but I’m definitely feeling this Bridget Kelly chick on the hook way more! Now doesn’t that make you want to “get out your dreams,” as Kanye would say? Bright lights, skyscrapers, concrete…doesn’t the incredible challenge make you want it more? I know I do.

I’m back

Brick City. Did you watch it? Did you love it? Will you be tuning in tonight? Well I did, I am certainly interested, and I will. Now I will admit that there was a lot of hype surrounding this show. A.lot. So I was interested to see what it was all about. A friend asked me earlier what I thought and I said that I don’t know if “enjoy” is the right word, but I was drawn in. That said,  I’m also charging myself to look at this thing critically- it is a documentary, it was edited, it’s real life, but it’s also been packaged. (Did you see the scene where they were in the CompStat meeting? I had a Wire flashback and was like, did you cook those books? lol!)

Now, before I jump into the show, let me just (honestly) say that going in, I , like most people, did not have the highest regard for (or opinion of) New Jersey in general and Newark in particular. That stems from several things: the smell emanating from it as I pass by on I-95 on my way back from DC, a particularly unpleasant bus trip from Delaware where all the miscreants causing the ruckus debarked in Newark, the Real Housewives, and then, its reputation I mean, it’s Newark. It’s brick city right? So it’s gritty and it’s grimy. No offense to my Jersey girls, I love you all, but my reaction to the city has always been kind of like- oh. and then there’s the look-  the one that the girl who dated Aiden right after Carrie had on her face when they met for the first time. It just happens, I don’t own it. That said, I was born in Baltimore and raised in D.C. so I know from cities with certain reputations.

I liked the first episode for several reasons- the main one being that they are giving us a behind the scenes look at public policy from the ground up; literally, from the street teams who work for peace to the police director  (Garry McCarthy) determined to lower the crime rate, to the mayor (Cory Booker) who wants to make the city one of the best in the nation- they all need each other to do their jobs and I think the documentary shows that.

There was one story arc that I was really interesting in following and that is the one of Jayda. This is from the Sundance Channel Website:

JAYDA

Blood Gang Member, Youth Mentor and founder of Nine Strong Women

Jayda is a young woman (probably in her 20s) and a member of the Bloods gang. She’s also the mother to a four- year-old son, the girlfriend of a member of the Crips, and a mentor to teen girls in Newark. She’s real, she’s raw, and she, like everyone else, is trying a hands-on approach to changing lives. She goes out to schools and talks to the girls around her life,  the things she been through and survived, the type of life she’s lived, and about their lives, as well. I’m sure a lot of them can relate to her and trust her enough to listen to her. In this episode, she broke up a potential fight between two girls at a high school- one who claimed she was pregnant by the other girl’s boyfriend- and got them to calm down and shake hands. She also dealt with her own personal drama. She  found out that she is pregnant and that there was a warrant out for her arrest, stemming from a fight she had back in 2004 when she assaulted a girl. So she had to decide whether or not to turn herself in (and risk going to prison) or run. She decided to face up to her mistakes. She also decided to start a non-profit to further help  teen girls. I like her. A lot. And I’m curious to see what will happen. If you didn’t get a chance to watch it, check out the videos online. Here’s one of Jayda and her boyfriend, Creep. (I just love that they are both mentors/counselors to the young people; members of rival gangs and all)

She’s not perfect (none of us are). And I’m sure she’s done things in her past that she regrets (who hasn’t) but she is making a difference. And THAT, to me, is the point.

And I’m curious…who are the people that you look up to in life? Mentors? Parents? Teachers? Aunts? Do you feel like you have a voice? That anyone cares what you have to say and listens to what you think?

What’s the biggest issue you face in your life right now? Or in your school or your community? How do YOU think it can be solved?

let’s talk about it