Homegirls,

I think I was in college when I first heard the phrase claim your space. Looking at it now, it seems fairly self- explanatory, but I’m not sure what I thought it meant when I first heard it. So if you’re confused about what it means, trust me, you aren’t the only one.

Claim your space is one of those phrases that most people understand, but would explain or articulate differently, kind of like, “do you,”  or “man up,” or “recognize.” There is no one “right” definition for any of those phrases, but you know what it means when you hear it or when you say it.

For me,  claiming your space means establishing your place in the world and making your presence there known- kind of like putting your  own unique stamp on something, so people know that you where there, that it’s your space.  And that can happen where ever you are, in many different ways,  from running for student government in your school, to decorating your room at home, to performing at an open-mic night, or starting a new club or group. Or, for me, starting this blog.

But the thing about claiming your space that makes it difficult is that you have to own it, you have to be in control, and be willing to be noticed. And that’s one of the reasons it was so hard for me. I tend to be really shy around people that I don’t know well or in large groups. I detest public speaking or giving presentations of any kind. I was always a little annoyed when “class participation” was a high percentage of my grade, but I got over that, it just wasn’t natural for me.  So  I always thought I would write under a pseudonym (a name other than my own) or anonymously because that way, if anyone criticized what I wrote or thought I was a bad writer, I wouldn’t be put on blast for everyone to see. So that was my m.o.-  work behind the scenes, stay under the radar, and out of the spotlight. It was safer that way. And to be honest, I still am that way, to a large extent. I don’t think that that you have to talk the loudest or speak the most to be effective or to be a leader. But, I do think you have to be willing to take a stand and stick by your decision, publically.

I had a not-so-favorite professor say to my class once- “set up a blog and write under your real name,” no pseudonyms, no hiding on the Internet; take ownership for whatever you put out there and stand by it. And that stuck with me. So that’s why I blog under my real name. Because I stand by what I say here and I want you to feel like you know who you’re talking to (whenever you start commenting : )  It’s also quality control. I would never want my name associated with some crap, so blogging under my real name holds me accountable for making sure that what I put out there (in perpetuity online) is quality.

That said, I also wanted to post a picture of myself, which is also something that I do not do. I’m not one of those people on fb with 85 albums entitled “me.”  But I want this blog to be a space where we can talk and share and eventually get into some really heavy things, so I want you to feel like you know who you’re talking to and I realize that for some people, that means being able to see me.  So, in case you were wondering, here I am-

And I encourage you, when you comment or write in (or even email if you prefer to keep it between us), to claim your space, whatever that means to you. It may not mean commenting under your full government name or posting a picture (safety first and always), but speak your mind (even if you disagree… especially if you disagree) and stand by what you say. We’re all big girls over here.

No cut cards