Homegirls, please lend me your ears…

Ok. I tried not to address this, I really did. But I’ve had enough and now, I have to speak. For the record I generally don’t support or watch awards shows on TV. I have a few reasons, but mainly, I find that they are rarely worth the time investment. They are predictable to a fault- the awkward moments between the forced banter of the host and the stiff audience, the same popular artists winning the same major awards year after year, the mediocre performances and lack of enthusiasm from the audience, the crippling boredom- so what I wasn’t doing was tuning in to the VMAs this year. Initially, I forgot that they were coming on, but when someone called and asked me if I was watching them (no!) I remembered that Janet Jackson was performing a tribute to MJ- and that I wanted to see, so I flipped back and forth until she was on and then changed the channel. I figured I could just watch the clips from the performances I wanted to see on youtube the next day. (I’ve watched none, btw) But plenty of people have seen this one…

So I missed what is now being called the Taylor Swift (who?) Kanye West “incident.” Yet, I feel like I was there. I am so sick and tired of hearing about it. So I must now speak my piece, so I can stop being aggravated. Yes, Kanye was a jerk for going up on stage and interrupting her moment in the spotlight. But since when is his behavior a surprise? Remember when went off prompt at a Red Cross Hurricane Katrina Relief telethon to say, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people?” I’m sure the former president does. But, for the most part, he wasn’t called a “jerk” for that, because many people believed there was some truth to what he said. Seriously, watch the clip again. Mike Myers’ discomfort is palpable…and hilarious.

So is it the fact that Kanye is rude/impetuous/unpredictable/(overly) emotional that people object to? Is it what he said? How he said it? Who he interrupted? I think it’s probably a combination of all three. I mean it’s one thing to interrupt a Hurricane Katrina telethon because you’re emotional; people get that. But to take a microphone from a 19-year-old singer during an awards show because you don’t think she deserves the award she was given? Please. If everyone did that, there wouldn’t be any awards shows.

Now, you can blame his behavior on the Henny (Kanye doesn’t strike me as a “quiet drunk,” so perhaps his posing on the red carpet with a bottle of Hennessy- isn’t that illegal btw- was the first clue that there was trouble ahead); you can blame it on his people (did no one on his payroll think to pull him to the side and suggest he put the bottle down?) But the ultimate blame falls on Kanye. He gets that now. He has apologized ad nauseum. Great. If his “image,” or career, as it was, suffers, that’s his bad. But who cares? It’s called (say it with me) personal responsibility.

His behavior was unfortunate, tacky and ill advised, no doubt. But so is how far out of proportion it’s been blown. My biggest issue, and the reason I’m writing about it on this blog (where we don’t do the celebrity thing real heavy) is because of the way people are treating Taylor Swift like the poster child for victims of unforgivable crimes. Yes she was wronged. Everyone can agree on that, Kanye included. But she had someone take her microphone away during the VMAs; she wasn’t assaulted, battered, kidnapped, or forced into prostitution. (Things, btw, that are happening to girls all over the world right now) She got her feelings hurt and was embarrassed…ergo, she is not a victim. So stop treating her like one.

Now, the main question I had in all of this was, how in the world did he get the microphone away from her in the first place? If I’m on stage, accepting an award for excellence in my chosen profession- the culmination of hard work and the realization of a life’s dream- and someone wished to interrupt said moment and forcibly take a microphone from me, allow me to paraphrase for a moment, but he would have had to wrestle it from my dead lifeless fingers. Now, clearly she didn’t expect anything like this would happen. So understandably, she was surprised. And caught off guard. And stunned. But a victim? Not so much. In fact, Kanye probably did more for her career by interrupting her speech than winning the award would have in the first place. And that’s just being honest.

Speaking of taking things that don’t belong to you, and not being a victim, this movie scene comes to mind.

I’m just saying.

A word of wisdom to my homegirls reading this…if someone attempts to take something from you that you don’t wish for him or her to have (say a microphone, your cornbread, or your dignity), a little strong arm goes a long way…not to mention a swift roundhouse kick or a chop to the throat. Don’t allow anyone to “victimize” you, before or after the fact.

Now I know that people who want to get into an online confrontation will find a way to take this the wrong way, so let me be clear. I am not saying that Kanye’s behavior (or the subsequent backlash) was in any way Taylor’s fault. But I am saying that she’s not a victim. Was it unfortunate? Yes. Has it happened to artists before? Yes. Will it happen to someone else at another awards show in the future? Probably. Will it happen to her again? Doubt that. And THAT is the biggest lesson in all of this. Live and learn.

P.S. Justin Timberlake ripping Janet Jackson’s clothes off and exposing her breast on national TV brings to mind a scenario whereby a woman could be said to have been “victimized,” but somehow, in the subsequent media coverage, Justin’s role was downplayed and downright ignored while Janet was villainized…hmmm, I wonder why that is?

Speak your piece (I can handle it. I’m a big girl). Remember, we can disagree and still be respectful.