When I was a freshman in college, we  were encouraged to use something called the buddy system. Because we were all (mostly) new to the area and were experiencing total freedom for the first time, the college wanted us to stay safe. We lived in a gated community and had on-campus security so we felt relatively safe there, but in the area surrounding our school…not so much. During orientation, they gave us all the good speeches on staying safe, had us memorize the number to the public safety office and even gave us piercingly loud whistles that we could use in case of an emergency. They also encouraged us to use the buddy system- walk in pairs or groups, never venture out alone, and always make sure that someone knows where you are going and who you are with- that included when you were going out on a date. So on any given date night, we were encouraged to walk our roommate/next door neighbor/friend to the car, meet the guy, get a name, check the license, and- get this- write down his license plate number. We all thought that was a little extra and laughed it off, but the thinking was that if he knew you had all that identifying information, he would be less inclined to “do something” (if he was at all inclined) to your friend because there was little chance he’d get away with it.

Now, just about everyone has a phone with a camera and unlimited texts. We use them for everything- recording foolishness on the subway, snapping pics with our girls, forwarding prayers, joking, sharing, gossiping, flirting, sexting…  But we should also remember that they could be our first line of safety defense. Now yes, like most people, I stan for both Law & Order and CSI so I’ve seen how a “cell phone can break a case,” but seriously, it’s better to be safe than wish you had been.

I laughed a lot of the “safety precautions” stuff off while in college, because like most people, I just didn’t think that it would happen to me. And even now, I walk around all the time and at all hours of the night listening to my ipod; without a thought that, as my mother would say,  “someone’s could knock me upside the head” and I wouldn’t hear them;  but they could. We can’t live in fear and we don’t have control over everything that happens to us, but we can make better decisions and be accountable for each other. So now, when one of my besties is dating someone new that I haven’t met, I get a full name, at least, and a picture if they’ve got it and I store it in my phone, just in case. Yeah, we laugh about it and say that it’s, “just in case I go missing, you’ll know who did it,” particularly because one of my besties, admittedly, likes to date slightly off center/moderately crazy people, but there’s definite truth behind it. Even if you are a very private person and prefer to keep your personal business private, there should be one person in your life with whom you feel comfortable sharing those things with. I’m not saying you have to give anyone the blow-by-blow or everything you do, or that this person has to be a parent- but at least make sure someone trustworthy (an aunt, cousin, mentor, friend) has your back…and that you have hers.

Protect yourselves and one another