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Black Girls Rock! is Now Accepting Applications for its 2013 Youth Enrichment Program!

12/19/2012
inspiration, Local, Making a Difference, Resources
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Black Girls Rock, a non-profit organization that mentors and empowers young women, is now accepting applications for its 2013 youth enrichment program. If you’ve never heard of Black Girls Rock!, or missed their awards show (which aired on BET last month) which honored positive black women in entertainment, check some show highlights out here.

BlackGirlsRock, Inc.

Black girls rocking | http://www.blackgirlsrockinc.com

PROGRAM DESCRIPTION:

BLACK GIRLS ROCK! Inc. is a 501(c)3 nonprofit youth empowerment and mentoring organization. The youth enrichment programs at BLACK GIRLS ROCK! empower young women through dynamic art and culture based workshops and  also encourage positive identity development, strong life skills, cultural investigation, critical thinking, and academic enrichment. Read more about the program here.

For admission into the youth enrichment program, candidates must complete a competitive application process beginning with the submission of their application form.

In order to download the application, please visit the website. Please review the eligibility requirements, terms, and conditions  before proceeding with the application and feel free to contact us at the BLACK GIRLS ROCK! office if you have any questions or concerns.

Source

October is National Bullying Prevention Month ~ Wear Orange on the 10th in Support

10/09/2012
Bullying, Events, Health, Issues, Local, Resources, Self-Esteem
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October is (among a million other things) Anti-Bullying Awareness Month. What started out as a week-long event back in 2006, sponsored by an organization called Pacer, has grown over the years to a month-long recognition and tomorrow is Unity Day.

What’s Unity Day? I’m glad you asked- basically you wear orange (t-shirt, ribbon, bracelet, shoes, whatever) to show that you recognize and support the cause. Oh, and it’s probably a good idea not to bully anyone while doing it. Not only because it’s mean and hurtful, but also because New York has Anti-Bullying laws in place to try to help protect students.

I saw this PSA on youtube that I thought was pretty decent and I thought I’d pass it along. It’s an entire 60 seconds long. Please watch it. Be safe out there and be kind to one another. If you can’t be kind, don’t be cruel.

If you need some help, or know someone who needs help, ask for it. There are people and places and websites out there to try to make this thing called growing up a little easier.

Homeboys Makin’ Noise: Amar’e Stoudemire Visits Youth on Rikers Island

10/03/2012
Giving Back, Homeboys Make Some Noise, Incarcerated Youth, inspiration, Issues, Local, Self-Esteem
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“Riker’s Island DCPI’s Office” | http://www.nypost.com

So, while Homegirl NYC is all about the awesomeness of girls, we would be remiss not to mention the greatness of some guys. “We give props to those who deserve it and believe me, y’all he’s worth it

According to the NY Post (I know), basketball star Amar’e Stouemire, went to Rikers Island on Friday to “spit the truth to the young black youth,” speaking to a room full young men, ages 16 to 18, incarcerated at the facility. His talk, which was by all accounts well received, focused on encouraging them to think about their lives, to want better for themselves and make a real effort not to go back to jail once released.

Stoudemire, a power forward for the Knicks who receives just as much press for what he wears off the court as he does for how he plays on it, was on a panel with former basketball players John Wallace and Etan Thomas, Macolm Shabazz (grandson of Malcolm X), Styles P from the Lox and sports commentator Chris Broussard.

According to the Post, Stoudemire told the young men, “The plan for us is not to succeed, and it goes back to when there was slavery.” “What you got to do is look at yourself in the mirror and say: ‘What am I going to do so I will not be a number?’

Good question. I hope that in addition to their talk, the panelists stay involved and start (or continue) investing in finding real solutions, like building/providing support systems necessary to help ex-offenders really make changes in their lives.

Emergency Contraception in High Schools: Is It Always a Good Idea to Have a Plan B?

09/26/2012
Health, Local, News, Teen Pregnancy
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Plan B One-Step Emergency Contraception

In Case of Emergency | Plan B | http://www.planbonestep.com

So, in high school, a few things are clear. One is that there are kids having sex. Two is that there are kids not having sex. Three is that there are kids (in both of those groups) who don’t know what the hell they are doing. This is also true for college, btw.

We all make mistakes and decisions that aren’t always the best or safest for us, emotionally or physically. But for those in the having sex crew (or the everything but crew) some of those decisions can lead to STDs, HIV, or pregnancy. Condoms are the safest (cheapest, and easiest to get) bet for protecting as much as you can against all three, but there’s nothing wrong with having a backup  (the pill) or a back up to the back up, if you can afford it.

Unwanted diseases, well, you just get stuck with those. Some you can cure, others, not so much. Unwanted pregnancies, well, there you have some options. And the NYC Department of Education is trying to make one of those options more accessible.T

Word on the curb is that some New York City Public School students will now be able to get Plan B at their schools. Plan B is emergency contraception, a pill that you can take after having unprotected sex, or after whatever protection you used didn’t work, or after you’re raped,  to try to stop a pregnancy from occurring. It’s like back up to the back up. The trick is you have to take it within 72 hours (but the sooner the better) and it doesn’t always work.

The program is starting in 13 high schools and everyone seems to have an opinion. Some people are pissy because they say this encourages teens to have irresponsible (i.e. unprotected) sex; some people are supportive because they say teens need options and greater access,  and some don’t really feel a way about it, they just think it’s practical.

No one asked me my opinion, but am I for it? Hell yes. Am I a parent? Hell no. Does my opinion matter? Probably not, but I’ll share it anyway. Look, everything has pros and cons, but my opinion basically comes down to this- what is best for the young women this program is intended to serve? Greater Access. The end.

If you have any questions about what Plan B is, how it works and where you can get it. Here are some quick answers to help you get informed.

Whatever Happened to… Khalya Hopkins?

12/16/2011
Issues, My Story, Teen Pregnancy, the Bronx, Whatever Happened To...
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Khalya Hopkins

One of the most talked about articles in the first issue (and a fav with the GGE crew) was about Khalya Hopkins. If you haven’t read her story, you should, but in brief, she got pregnant when she was 14 (under some difficult circumstances) and didn’t let being a teenage mom stop her from finishing high school, going to graduate school and becoming a teacher. It wasn’t glamorous or easy, but she did it. Meeting her, talking to her and hearing her story, it’s not hard to understand why. She’s driven.

The first thing I noticed when I met Khalya, though, were her nails…and I had to ask her about them during our interview.  “In high school, the first year, you’re fresh meat,” she said. “Every guy is trying to bag you. The honors girls are the ‘it girls,’ if you’re cute, it was extra. We were in high demand.” After she had her daughter, though, things changed. “I was a real bum,” she said. “We went from 10 to zero on the radar, looking raggedy. It was a joke, our children were fly.”

"My parents told me, don't half ass anything," Khalya said. "That's my policy on everything."

Things started to pick up , she got a little money and she’d get her hair done. She started getting her nails done at 14 because she wanted to be creative. “In high school, your whole purpose in life is to out-do your friends, whether you say it or not. I wanted to be known for something other than my daughter.” So she let it be known that any guy she dated had to get her nails done. She started getting long tips in college and soon she became known for it, so she got as creative as she could. The reactions have been mixed- “That’s not professional,” and  “How can you work?” are common comments. There are people who want to take pictures and others who are repulsed. But Khalya says, “They’re not professional and I don’t ever pretend that they are, however, they are icebreakers,” and they get the conversation started. What she has to say is certainly worth it.

"You always want to have your own identity...if it's on your own terms, it's cool." Photograph by Valerie Caesar.

Some of the GGE girls really related to Khalya’s story (the boyfriend drama) and were happy to see her succeed. They also wanted to know how it ended—

Did her father’s boyfriend even get out of jail? Yes.

Are they back together? No.

What happened? Her parents tried to get her to reconcile with him because they wanted a traditional family unit and wanted to use it was a way to “de-gay” her, but the relationship did not work. She’s also gay, btw.

Can we contact her on facebook? Yes. Search for her name- Khalya Hopkins.

A Reader’s Story: My Teen Pregnancy

06/27/2011
Issues, Readers Write In, Teen Pregnancy
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Of all the feedback I’ve received from this magazine so far, I am especially moved by a reader who emailed me wanting to share her teen pregnancy story, after reading about Khalya Hopkins’. Due to the nature of her story, she wishes to remain anonymous, but hopes that reading about what she went through will help someone else. I thank her for her courage.  Here it is, in her own words-

“When I was 15 years old, during the summer after my freshman year of High School, I went back to visit my native homeland after 5 years of being in the United States. I was raped by a family friend. As soon as I came back, I went to take a pregnancy and STD test because I had missed my period and was mostly worried about getting HIV. Luckily I wasn’t infected but I was pregnant. I decided to tell my mother who did not want to believe me, mostly for social reasons I believe. I decided to get an abortion because I wasn’t ready for a baby, especially one that I didn’t want. At the abortion clinic, the doctor had to repeat my labs twice to make sure there wasn’t a mistake. He informed me that I was severely anemic and that I would be taking a huge risk with the abortion. I was scared and didn’t get a second opinion. I decided to keep the child, rather than risk my life. I now realize that maybe I should have gotten a second opinion. My son was born a month before my 16th birthday. I remember debating whether to have a sweet sixteen but deciding against it since I just had a baby. I went on to finish High School with my class without having to attend Summer School. I also played basketball my last 2 years. My mother was instrumental in watching my son and paying for childcare. I suggested getting a job after school but she didn’t want me to. I got my first job the summer after High School at white Castle. I remember all my money going to childcare, but I didn’t care. I did not want my mother being financially responsible for my son more than she had to be. I enrolled in college to become a Registered Nurse. At the age of 24, I became a licensed RN and got my BSN at the age of 25. I have been living on my own since I was 20. I worked extremely hard to get where I am because I didn’t just want my life to waste away. I was torn between loving my son and accepting him as what he was: a child conceived of rape. But I knew that I decided to keep him so I had to do my best. I am still plagued but it is a work in progress. I often think of how carefree my life would have been had I not been raped but I try to push those thoughts out of my mind because they do not benefit me. I can’t say that I am a perfect mother but God knows I have tried and still try to do right by my son. Life always throws obstacles. It is up to us to brace ourselves and weather the storm. I am still weathering my storm but I hope to see some calm over the horizon.”

That New New

01/12/2010
Giving Back, It's Me Again, Making a Difference
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Happy New Year, girlies! (I know, I know…said as I hang my head in shame). But new year, new things, right? So…we’re back…AGAIN! Enough with the old, on to the new.

So, did you know that January is National Mentoring Month? Well, neither did I. But, I’m glad that it is. And I’m glad that I am a (new) mentor and that I have a mentee (hey, you!) that I adore. Yesterday we FINALLY went to go see Precious. I know, I know. But I read Precious way back in the day (I have an original hardcover copy of the book), so I had to mentally prepare myself to see the film.

Original Hardcover Edition

New, movie-based, paperback

And I wanted to see it with my mentee. She mentioned to me that she had read the book (!) as well, and she wondered how different the movie would be, so I thought it would be a great idea for us to see it together.

Afterwards, we didn’t speak for at least 15 minutes. And that was as it should have been. The movie was a lot to process. I don’t think that I still have, completely. So I don’t want to give a critique of the movie, that’s been done, ad nauseum. If you haven’t read the book, read it. If you haven’t seen the movie, do so. And if you don’t know about the star, Gabby Sidibe, find out. What I really wanted to talk about is the larger message of literacy and the need for all of us to get involved…in some (what we think is small) way. If you are reading this, you can read. And that is one skill that you have that many others don’t. It’s one thing you know how to do that you can teach to someone else. Or one way that you can help somebody else.

One thing that struck me, as I sat in the movie theater on Sunday afternoon was how packed the place was…still. And this movie came out last year. And it’s not a “feel good” movie, or date-night romantic or action-packed. It’s gritty and raw and uncomfortable to watch. So I was glad to see so many people, so many different kinds of people (seriously, it was like the United Nations and the Special Olympics in there) coing out to support the film. And I thought, if just a fraction of everyone who went to see the movie decided, instead of say analyzing the film to death or comparing it to the book to the point of tears, to DO something (like volunteer to read to school children or to teach literacy to functioning illiterate adults) we could might actually change some lives. And that, after all, is the point, right?

And if teaching is not your thing, or literacy isn’t either, that’s okay, too. But figure out what you can do, and do it. If you would make a good peer mentor/counselor (do they still have those?), or coach, or math tutor, or assistant or volunteer of any kind, do that. If your contribution is just to not be a part of the crowd making fun of another student for not knowing how to read well, or because she doesn’t dress well enough, or smell nice, or look a certain way, or stand up for herself, be that better person. Be that friend, or at least that voice of reason who stands up for someone who really needs it.

In case you want to volunteer, but are unsure of where to start, here are a few links to help you out:

DoSomething.org is exactly what is sounds like…it provides resources to help you do something, even if you don’t know what that something it. So, go do it.

GrooveJob.com is a website that allows students and teens to search for internships and volunteer work by city or zip code. Here’s the link for volunteer opportunities.

Also, check out NYC Service. You can look for volunteer opportunities or even pledge a “Day of Service.” F.Y.I, there’s a “Day of Service” project coming up for the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday.

If you are 17 or older, check out the year-long projects available at City Year.

And here is an article on the variety of opportunities around the city, from acting as a guide a Prospect Park Zoo, to volunteering at the ASPCA (you know, the organization with the sad-eyed animal commercials that make you go awwww…yeah. them. well, they protect animals and need clerical help), to helping out at a botanical garden, museum, library, tutoring younger kids, or helping elders.

Happy hunting!

That is all. For now.

Teen Dating Violence- How to Help Others

11/08/2009
Dating Violence, Health, Issues
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Advice from Day One on how to help others–

Step Four- Learn How You Can Help Others

10 Ways to Help a Friend or Family Member Who is Being Abused

Helping someone who is being abused isn’t always easy. Day One can show you how to support someone without contributing to the danger.

  1. Take a Deep Breath. Before you say anything to your family/friend member, take time to think about your relationship with the person and what this person means to you. The type of relationship that you share will affect your approach. Monitor your own emotions: You’re in the best position to help someone else when you’re open-minded and patient.
  2. Don’t be afraid to tell them you are concerned for their safety. Help them recognize the abuse. Them them you see what is going on and you want to help. Help them see that what is happening is not “normal” and they deserve a healthy, non-violent relationship.
  3. Acknowledge that they are in a very difficult and scary situation. Encourage them strength and courage. Let them know that it is not their fault that they are being abused- the abuser, not the victim, is responsible for the abuse. Let them know they are not alone.
  4. Be supportive. Listen to them. Remember, it may be difficult for them to talk about the abuse. Let them know you can help out whenever they need it. What they need most is someone who will listen to them and believe them, and who can help them sort out their options.
  5. Be non-judgmental. Respect their decisions. There are complex reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. They may break up with and go back to the abuser many times. Don’t criticize them for doing that. They will need your support even more at those times. Don’t make them feel bad for their choices- even if you think the choices are wrong.
  6. Encourage them to do things with you and other friends and family and to take part in other activities outside of their relationship.
  7. If they break up with the abuser, continue to be supportive of them after the break-up. Though the relationship was abusive, they will probably fell sad and lonely when it is over. They may be tempted to get back together with that abuser, and will especially need your support at that time.
  8. Help them develop a safety plan. Safety Planning helps victims think ahead about how to protect themselves. A safety plan is developed before a dangerous situation arises rather than at the last minute. A safety plan identifies dangers to avoid and resources for help.
  9. Encourage them to talk to people who can give help and guidance. Offer to go with them to find a counselor or support group, or to talk to their family, friends, or teachers. If they are going to the police, to court, or to see a lawyer, offer to go along, but make sure to let them do the talking.
  10. Remember you cannot “rescue” them. Although it’s difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately the victim must make the final decision. You should be there to support them and help them find their own way to escape the abuse and make themselves safe.

Note: the reality of most reported cases of relationship violence is that victims are referred to as “she” and abusers as “he.” However, boys and men can be victims, and girls and women can be abusers; and domestic violence occurs in same-sex relationships at the same rate as in heterosexual relationships. The above information applies equally in all cases.

Teen Dating Violence: Get Help

11/08/2009
Dating Violence, Issues, Resources, Staying Safe
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In New York City, Day One can help.

Step Three:  Get Help for Yourself

Comprehensive Services for Youth Experiencing Dating Abuse

If you are 14-22 years old and a survivor of abuse, combines therapeutic counseling and legal services are available to you at no fee.

Day One Offers:

  • support groups
  • individual and group counseling

Day One Can:

  • help you navigate the criminal courts system
  • accompany you to the police precinct to file a report
  • work with your school & the Department of Education for a school transfer
  • help you access public assistance, housing, immigration & other support services
  • represent you in family court for orders of protection, custody & visitation, and child support

Call Day One to meet with an attorney and a counselor who will help you make safe choices in and out of your relationship. The phone number is: 1-800-214-4150/ 212-566-8120

The office is located in a confidential location in downtown Manhattan and provides free metrocards for youth traveling to Day One’s office. Also, Hablan Espanol.

And, additional information from the Brooklyn DA’s office: “You are not alone! Tell a friend or adlt that you trust. Don’t be afraid to report abuse. Silence is the most dangerous issue in dating violence.”

Here is a list of additional resources:

  • Brooklyn Family Justice Center– Provides civil legal assistance, counseling, emergency support, spiritual counseling, and information about housing and public assistance for domestic violence victims. Walk-in hours are Monday-Friday 9am-5pm. 350 Jay Street, 15th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201
  • STEPS to End Family Violence– Provides counseling and education for teens who abused, legal assistance and court advocacy for incarcerated women who have been abused. Ph: 646-315-7600; 212-410-4200
  • The Door– Comprehensive services for youth 12-21. Services include counseling, GED instruction, job and internship placement services, art therapy, legal services, health center, creative and performing arts center. Make an appointment or walk-in Monday-Friday (2-5) or Wednesday (2-7). Enter at 555 Broome Street, 121 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10013. Ph: 212-941-9090
  • The Safe Space- A project of Break the Cycle, Safe Space can help you get involved in bringing awareness about teen dating and domestic violence to your community.  Ph: 1-888-988-TEEN
  • CAMBA– A comprehensive care community care agency with specific  programs for victims of violence and youth, including legal services, counseling, and work force development. 885 Flatbush Avenue, 3rd Fl. Brooklyn, NY 11226. Ph: 718-282-5575
  • St. Luke’s Hospital Crime Victims Treatment Center– Offers crisis intervention and individual and group counseling as well as other services. 411 W.114th St., New York, NY 10025. Ph: 212-523-4728
  • NYC Gay & Lesbian Anti-Violence Program (AVP)– Provides counseling, advocacy, and support for the lesbian, gay, transgender, bisexual, and HIV affected communities of NYC who have been impacted by violence and crime. Ph: 212-714-1141 (24-hour hotline)
  • Center for Family Life– Provides comprehensive services on behalf of youth and families, including counseling, employment support, and advocacy. Ph: 718-788-3500
  • Planned Parenthood of NYC– Family Planning, STD/HIV Testing, Gynecological services. Services available for men also. Walk-ins welcome for Pregnancy Testing and Emergency Contraception. Various locations. Appointment line: 1-800-230-PLAN
  • Break Free Adolescent Services– Services Adolescents ages 12-17 1/2) in English, Spanish and Russian. Break-Free provides weekly individual and family therapy for teens with academic programs, family conflict, truancy and other social or emotional disorders. 2020 Coney Island Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11223. Ph: 718.676.4280
  • Dr. White Community Center- Catholic Charities, Diocese of Brooklyn- Offers various programs including after school and a youth employment program- services are free. 200 Gold Street, Brooklyn, NY 11201. Ph: 718-875-8801
  • Children’s Aid Society, Family Wellness Program– Offers group and individual counseling for teens who have been affected by family violence and/or who are being abused in an intimate relationship. Also offered are educational workshops and peer leadership groups for teens. Services for younger children, adult women and adult men are also offered. Services are offered in several Children’s Aid Society sites in Manhattan and the Bronx. Ph: 212-949-4800
  • Barrier Free Living– Serves disabled clients who are experiencing or have previously experienced domestic violence, and their children who have witnessed abuse. They provide information and referral services, individual and group counseling, psychotherapy, psychiatric services, occupational therapy, and advocacy services. Ph: 212-533-4358
  • LawHelp/NY– An online resource for low-income New Yorkers seeking pro bono legal assistance.  Find help on issues such as housing, family & juvenile, identity theft, taxes, consumer, public benefits, health and more!  Featuring thousands of resources in over 39 languages, an instructional video and a mirror site in Spanish.  Free trainings available.  Visit LawHelp.org/NY for more information.
  • NYC Domestic Violence Hotline Ph: 1-800-621-HOPE 24 hours per day/7 days per week
  • NYS Domestic Violence Hotline Ph: 1-800-942-6906 24 hours per day/7 days per week
  • Youthline Ph: 1-800-246-4646 Monday-Friday 9am-9pm; Weekends Noon-8pm
  • National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline Ph: 1-866-331-9474
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline Ph: 1-800-799-SAFE
  • Covenant House’s 9 Line– The 9 Line is a general hotline for teenagers. Covenant House specializes in providing temporary housing and assistance to runaway and homeless youth. Ph: 1-800-999-9999