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Some thoughts on issue 1

One of the reasons I wanted to start a print magazine in a digital age (aside from always just really wanting to do it), was to reach those girls who don’t always have access to a computer or as much time to spend online reading magazines. So, part of the way I was going to reach out was to make magazines available to girls in detention centers, foster homes, emergency shelters, etc.

A few months ago, I reached out the the NYC Department of ACS to see about donating some of the (many) magazines I had left from the first issue to some girls who may want/need reading material. I connected with someone there who gave me instructions on sending the magazines and off they went. I sent two boxes- the first had about 30 or so magazines, and the second was closer to 75. My contact as ACS offered to distribute a questionnaire to the girls about the magazine, so I made one up and emailed it to her. Mostly, I was trying to get a feel for a) the reader’s demographics; b) what they thought about the content of the magazine and c) how they felt about what they read.

One of the last emails I received from my contact there indicated that the feedback was great, and a month or so later, I got a packet in the mail containing the completed surveys. I was definitely more nervous about opening it than I thought I would be, but I was excited to see what they said. I had shared the magazine with teen girls previously, but sometimes, feedback is different when you give it face-to-face versus writing your thoughts down on paper and sending them. So, this was a first for me. And, well, the responses definitely did not disappoint.

Here are just a few things I learned:

1) Most thought that the articles were too long. (I did, too, and have since learned how to be a better editor).

2) A few people spent just a few minutes reading the magazine, while others spent anywhere from 30 minutes to “a few hours” reading this issue – even one reader who isn’t “really a magazine type of girl.” (!!!)

3) Not everyone could relate to the articles or took something away from reading it or even would read another issue. But a couple of girls did express interest in contributing to a future issue. (Awesome)

4) At least two girls weren’t here for the “race/ethnicity” question and think of themselves as “human.” (I kind of loved that)

As I wrap up the second issue, I remember the process of putting together the first one and I see how I’ve made certain editorial and business decisions this time around that I think will open some more doors and appeal to more readers. And on this second day of the new year, I am so grateful and thankful to the 14-17 year old readers at NYC Dept of ACS who took the time to read the magazine and offer me thoughtful feedback.

One of the last questions I asked on the survey was, “What did you take away from reading it, if anything?” And a 17-year-old responded, “I took that being a teenager is hard but there are things you can do to get by.”

Amen.

Of all the feedback I’ve received from this magazine so far, I am especially moved by a reader who emailed me wanting to share her teen pregnancy story, after reading about Khalya Hopkins’. Due to the nature of her story, she wishes to remain anonymous, but hopes that reading about what she went through will help someone else. I thank her for her courage.  Here it is, in her own words-

“When I was 15 years old, during the summer after my freshman year of High School, I went back to visit my native homeland after 5 years of being in the United States. I was raped by a family friend. As soon as I came back, I went to take a pregnancy and STD test because I had missed my period and was mostly worried about getting HIV. Luckily I wasn’t infected but I was pregnant. I decided to tell my mother who did not want to believe me, mostly for social reasons I believe. I decided to get an abortion because I wasn’t ready for a baby, especially one that I didn’t want. At the abortion clinic, the doctor had to repeat my labs twice to make sure there wasn’t a mistake. He informed me that I was severely anemic and that I would be taking a huge risk with the abortion. I was scared and didn’t get a second opinion. I decided to keep the child, rather than risk my life. I now realize that maybe I should have gotten a second opinion. My son was born a month before my 16th birthday. I remember debating whether to have a sweet sixteen but deciding against it since I just had a baby. I went on to finish High School with my class without having to attend Summer School. I also played basketball my last 2 years. My mother was instrumental in watching my son and paying for childcare. I suggested getting a job after school but she didn’t want me to. I got my first job the summer after High School at white Castle. I remember all my money going to childcare, but I didn’t care. I did not want my mother being financially responsible for my son more than she had to be. I enrolled in college to become a Registered Nurse. At the age of 24, I became a licensed RN and got my BSN at the age of 25. I have been living on my own since I was 20. I worked extremely hard to get where I am because I didn’t just want my life to waste away. I was torn between loving my son and accepting him as what he was: a child conceived of rape. But I knew that I decided to keep him so I had to do my best. I am still plagued but it is a work in progress. I often think of how carefree my life would have been had I not been raped but I try to push those thoughts out of my mind because they do not benefit me. I can’t say that I am a perfect mother but God knows I have tried and still try to do right by my son. Life always throws obstacles. It is up to us to brace ourselves and weather the storm. I am still weathering my storm but I hope to see some calm over the horizon.”